Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The Most Interesting Runner in the World

  • He once ran a marathon backwards, just to see what it looked like to finish in second place.*
  • Going forward, he is the only man allowed to pace Paula Radcliffe in world record attempts – mostly because the IAAF is afraid to tell him otherwise.
  • He doesn't care what P-Diddy’s marathon time was.
  • He doesn't wear a RoadID bracelet. Because he never runs into trouble and everyone knows who he is.
  • He doesn't wear a GPS, because wherever he is, is the perfect place to be.
  • Even his minimalist shoes provide a soft, cushioned feel on his long runs. Not that he needs it.
  • Out of respect, the wind always blows at his back. Unless *he* wants a head-wind. What, you thought that perfectly coiffed hair happens all by itself?
  • Actually – it does.
  • He has run with ultra-runners Dean Karnazes and Scott Jurek on their long runs;  on the same day; separately.
  • If you ran with him, you would not wear an iPod. Because his breathing and foot-falls sound like a chorus of angels. Angels that could sing you a lullaby and pace you into the dirt at the same time.
  • His post workout running clothes smell like a fine double malt scotch airing in a sandalwood forest breeze with just a hint of myrrh. You heard me.
  • He doesn't wear sunscreen. His skin is naturally SPF 10,000. He remains perfectly tanned year round.
  • His after run stretching routine consists of reaching into the upper cabinet to retrieve the martini glasses and downwards to get the cocktail shaker. He does not always drink beer.
  • Boston qualified for him.
  • He never brings a water bottle on a long run. When he becomes slightly parched, it rains – ever so gently.
  • On his off days, he does Yoga to stay limber. ‘Yoga’ being the beautiful Indonesian super-model that lives in his village. Yoga is in fact the only reason he takes ‘off’ days from running.
Stay Thirsty My Friends. And Run Fast.

*Credit where credit is due. This one was an official commercial and it got me thinking... the rest are originals.

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